And another thing...

New Blog

2005-08-26T09:13:00.000-04:00

Now working on a new blog:

Stop the Presses!

2005-07-30T09:48:00.000-04:00

I'm discontinuing this blog and movin' on up to a new one.

Come on in to: douganderson.blogspot.com

Your Challenge

2005-07-29T08:19:00.000-04:00

TODAY'S POLL:

What's the thing you'd like most to change about the way you sound?

http://www.yourvoicecoach.com

Spiders and Sloppy Messages

2005-07-28T09:28:00.000-04:00

DAILY DISH:

I love the Google ads that run on your posts. I thought I'd try this service out. So I signed up and waited for the appropriate ads to appear. Well. I had written one post about nerves and stage fright - maybe that's what did it - but my ads turned to be about depression, suicide and supplements that make you want to hang on until 911 picks up. Uh huh.

Maybe I'll have better luck tomorrow. Or should I just write "voice tips" 50 times in one post? Maybe that way the "spiders" that crawl the Net will get the point. Doesn't the image of "spiders" out there sucking up information creep you out a little? I keep picturing those mechanical creatures that attacked the ships in The Matrix...

DAILY TIP:

Tips when leaving a telephone message:

Doesn't it drive you nuts when you get a phone message you can barely understand? And not all of them are from people trying to sell you swampland in Peoria. So when you're on the other end, leaving a message, try to set a better example:

Slow down when you're leaving a message, especially if you have an accent. I find myself replaying some messages over and over until I get the intended information. And it might be a swampland salesman -- or else someone with good news.

When you leave your name make sure you leave it clearly, especially if it's something exotic like Mr. Mxyzpitlk. If that's the case, spell it, and maybe think about changing to one with a few less consonants.

Slow down when giving your number. Ain't that the worst? How many times do you get a message like this: "Hello, my name is (mumble) and you can reach me at 746-38(mutter,mumble)3." Doesn't that drive you bats?

Maybe leave a short sentence saying who you are, why you are calling.

Leave YOUR number clearly. They can't return the call if they don't have it. Don't make them look up Mxyzpitlk in the book.

Also, do not leave long messages or they will tune out and hang up before getting that important info you were saving for the end.

Make sense?

http://www.yourvoicecoach.com

Singing

2005-07-27T21:07:00.000-04:00

Daily Voice Tip:

Singing higher.

Most people can go up a few notes until their voice breaks. Where it falls apart is in the transition from what's called "chest" voice into "head voice." Chest voice resonates in -- guess where? Put the flat of your hand on your sternum and sing. You can feel the vibration. As you go up the scale, the resonance shifts upwards into your head.

Voice training shows you how to go from chest to head without cracking or yodeling. Nothing can take the place of one-on-one coaching, but there are a few tricks to help you work on by yourself.

One is, as you climb higher, take it easy. Contrary to popular belief, PUSHING is not the way to sing the high notes. Use less strain -- don't let your throat tighten. After a while you'll feel the higher notes start to come more easily.

More tips later if y'all want them.

Any questions?

Daily Dish:

"So You Think You Can Dance" is on FOX. Oy. So you think you can keep me awake?

Open up. Do it!

2005-07-27T10:59:00.000-04:00

Daily Tip: Yawn.

The throat needs to be open and feel wide in order to produce a bigger sound. Most of us speak from a tiny, shut down space inside the mouth and throat. Hence, a meek little squashed sound. What yawning does is give you a sense of expansion. It creates more room, and more room = more resonance.

Resonance is what moves the voice forward and gives it a kick. Not shouting. So open up your mouth, have a bit of a yawn, and then try speaking from the feeling of an open throat. It'll increase your sound immediately...

Daily Dish:

I come from hearty New England stock. Think Katharine Hepburn, jumping into the freezing ocean every day to do laps. (Although personally I think all that aquatic shock treatment is what made her head shake. Just a thought.) Cold I can deal with. Put a blanket on and shut up.

But this sweltering swamp of a Summer is rackin' up my electric bill along with my nerves.

I may have to go jump in the river...

http://yourvoicecoach.com

Ye Gods

2005-07-26T16:42:00.000-04:00

Hottest Day in Human History.

At least here in Philly.

Ye gods.

I've parked my ass in front of the A/C and prayed for rain. A hailstorm. Anything cold.

It's Tuesday, so now that I've finished coaching a man from Burma on the phone, my mind leaps ahead to What's On Telly tonight.

It isn't Hell's Kitchen or Nanny 911 because they were on last night. And Six Feet Under was Sunday. Did you see that episode? I'm not going to spoil what happens in the last minute - but try and find it in a rerun.

Yes, Nanny 911. Or boxing. As some of you read from earlier posts, that's the bizarre gamut of my nightlife. Two men smacking each other in the ring, or triplets smacking each other in the crib.

You see why I've been single for so long? Well, no - I do have a meaningful relationship. It's a threesome, actually. Me, my TV and my VCR.
Anybody else feel like a shut-in at night? Not being a "bar person," I find it all too easy to crash and grab the clicker. Not that clicker. My universal remote. Lately I do feel remote, and I wonder: is it universal?

Ye Gods!

Nerves

2005-07-25T10:44:00.000-04:00

No matter how many years you get up and speak, getting The Jitters always comes with the territory. Here are some ideas. Feeling nervous is natural but there are things you can do before you start to speak to help control your nerves and make you feel more relaxed.

Take deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth, before you begin.

Clench your hands and then shake them out. This helps to release tension and to control any shaking that can occur when nervous.

If you're giving a speech or doing a presentation, walk around the area before the audience arrives to help you to become more familiar with the space. When you start your presentation, you will look and feel more confident.

To reduce any tension in the face, practice chewing. Massage your cheeks and jaw.

Be positive. A good mental attitude is essential. To help achieve this, think of three reasons why your audience should listen to you and say these to yourself before you start. Focus on your message and it will help immensely.

Speaker's Tip

2005-07-24T14:18:00.000-04:00

Breathing Tip:

In front of a mirror, take some deep breaths and watch what moves. Most people breathe up and down, lifting their shoulders. And when they take a breath they pull their stomachs in and hold them tightly, as if they were asked to HOLD their breath.

Optimal breathing comes from below. Yes, the lungs only go so far down, but a lot of voicework is imagery - and if you imagine your breath coming in low, filling up your waist and sides, it will help the bottom part of your lungs to take in the most air.

Give it a shot!

This works for singing as well as speaking. A product I've used is "Singing for Success."

Voice Coaching

2005-07-23T17:13:00.000-04:00

One aspect of this site is to share what I've learned (mainly to answer questions) about voicework, either speaking or singing.

Books like these are a good starting place, but to speak one-on-one and get specialized coaching, feel free to bring your questions here...

Funny, eh?

2005-07-23T15:15:00.000-04:00

I bought a book on procrastination.

I'm putting off reading it.

Payin' the bills...

2005-07-21T14:34:00.000-04:00

I've designed a life wherein I can Make Money From Home. No, it's not a Pyramid Scheme, but it's the consulting service I developed, which can be done by phone. Potential clients call me, and once they've wrapped their brains around the concept, they see how it works.

Hey, it's better than an office gig. Something to do between performances.

THE JOB. But with an office job you get paid every week, get insurance, get free coffee in the company kitchen. The occasional muffin basket after a conference meeting is done.

Here I have to scare up the clients myself, which can lead to some p-r-e-t-t-y thin weeks. Like this one. I also teach singing -- and right now I was waiting for a student to show up. Still waiting. Still waiting. Oy.

I saved a little nest egg a month ago (granted a small, fragile egg - maybe Egg Beaters) and then I turned around and it was gone. How did it happen? It's wonderful when income Comes In - but it blows when it BLOWS OUT.

Eh. It'll come around again. I'll just go sit on another egg.

Sondheim at Carnegie Hall

2005-07-21T08:38:00.000-04:00

Well, fast-forward a couple years, and things between us didn't end so hot.

Not going into the particulars (in one of my rare displays of discretion) we just were heading in two different directions. But. I had been asked to sing in the finale of Sondheim at Carnegie Hall. Awkwardness or not there was no way I was going to turn that down. I was pretty sure he didn't know I was there and I wanted to keep it that way. One disapproving word and I'd be out on 57th Street.
So I spent the whole rehearsal week ducking behind columns, doors, Liza Minnelli. Anything. Tried Bernadette Peters but she was too short. And I made it, undetected, to the night of the concert, which turned out to be unbelievably fantastic. Standing in the wings with Glenn Close, Patti Lupone (who was a blast, by the way) - all these showbiz names - just a kick.

But back to my subterfuge. I am walking down the hall with a girlfriend I'd made during rehearsals. I had told a few singers that I knew SS, just because I didn't want to be left alone at any point of the week. Silly, perhaps, but I just didn't want some uncomfortable scene with the both of us.

So we're getting close to the finale and I'm walking down the hallway with my friend. She says, "I gotta pee," and ducks into the loo.

And wouldn't you know.

The ONE time I was left alone, that's when it happened. I think the Universe has a perverse sense of humor. I heard an elevator open behind me and I turned to look. Oh my God. Luckily he was escorting some jewel-encrusted matron so I knew I was pretty safe.

But as he came toward me it was like Gunfight at the OK Corral. Eyes locked, tension building, closing in on each other. As he passed he whispered, "I didn't know you'd be here," and vanished, leaving me to stand there and do a double-take. Wait a minute, was that "...and it's nice to see you," or "...and if I had known, you wouldn't BE here."

Still scratching my head, my girlfriend emerged and dragged me down into the wings for our entrance. And then we filed onstage singing "Sunday" from "Sunday in the Park with George." Amazing. Walking onto that stage and seeing hundreds of people in the audience all focused intensely on what was taking place.

After it was over and we took our bows, he walked onstage and I thought, "My God. I'm standing here in one of the greatest places on earth, doing something I knew would be a highlight of my career, and then this man comes out, with whom I'd spent so much time. And it seemed like both halves of my life came together. Stunning. Literally.

Sondheim - Dinner for 2

2005-07-20T09:45:00.000-04:00

So he takes me out to Dish of Salt, a fancy-schmancy restaurant in mid-town. We walk in and the pianist starts to play "Send in the Clowns." I'm in heaven. He's in hell. Takes my arm and practically pulls me through the crowd being seated. I feel like a huge celebrity, like I have died and gone to the Oscars. I want to wave and sign autographs. "Hello, hello - yes, it's us."

Celebrity by proximity...

so I go to this audition ...

2005-07-19T14:23:00.000-04:00

... for a new show starting out in Philly and heading to NYC. Casting Director called 3 days before and said Sorry It's Such Short Notice but can I come in and sing. Sure. I haven't auditioned in months, but yeah, I'd like to be part of this project.

Well. When you haven't "auditioned in months," you need to be doubly-sure of what you're doing. And have a back up plan. I had some "special material," (i.e., a funny song, which was what they wanted) which was apparently TOO special for the ham-handed accompanist. This was all charted out nicely and he said, "No problem" before I began -- but as I started to sing I realized Accompanists are from Mars, and I was from Venus. Or maybe he was from Uranus, the way he played.

When I first came in, there were 8 people sitting behind a long table. I cracked a joke about it feeling like American Idol and then went into my William Hung impression (this was not my Special Material) to break the ice. Everybody laughed and I thought, "good - here we go."

And then all Hell broke loose.

The more the song collapsed the more nervous I got. Forgot one of the lyrics. And I could tell they weren't sure if it was me who was off, but suddenly it got very quiet in the room and I could hear crickets. When it was finaly over I got the perfunctory"thank you," and I wiped the scrambled eggs off my face and retreated out the door, silently vowing to that accompanist that he better never meet me in a dark alley.

Ah, showbiz...

Sondheim, Part Deux

2005-07-17T12:07:00.000-04:00

So, we hung out together for a couple of years, doing things periodically. Things -- not "THINGS."

He was extremely generous and taught me a lot about songwriting (and life), and it was a magical time. Seems like a dream now, but it did back then, too. To spend time with your Idol -- tricky stuff. Negotiable, but tricky.

One night we went out to a Broadway show - big musical, famous diva star. We were seated left of center. So the chorus comes out and starts doing their tap-dancing, and I swear to you, after a minute or so they all started to shift slightly to their right, tip-tapping in our general direction. You could almost hear their inner monologues beating in rhythm with their tap shoes.

"Sondheim's in the house - Sondheim's in the house."

They practically played the whole number right to him - putting more into it than they probably ever did before. It turned into one big audition. "Sing out, Louise! Smile, baby!" I'd never seen anything like it.

Isn't it rich??

Cherry Jones Part Three

2005-07-15T13:42:00.000-04:00

DA: Do you ever worry about being openly gay - that it might affect getting work?

CJ: Absolutely not. Never.

DA: Even in films?

CJ: If I were always looking for the next big Hollywood break, then I'm sure it would give me some pause. But since I'm not concerned with that, it's never been a problem. I do wish, of course, that everyone who is gay could be "out", because then it would be an ideal world.

DA: When people who are out gain notority - like you --I think it moves us all along. It chips away at that big wall of ignorance and prejudice.

CJ: Oh, tremendously. And of course being out has never been a problem with theatre roles. I don't think it's an issue - even if I were always playing the heterosexual leading ladies in comtemporary pieces.

DA: Any interest in that?

CJ: Oh, sure! I love and adore men. And you know -- I am an actress. I have played a few heterosexuals in my time!

DA: Do you ever have a bad case of nerves onstage?

CJ: I had one terrible night during The Heiress. One of the actors "went up" for a few seconds. Now, he came right back and found himself quickly, but for some reason it shook me. I was so panicked trying to think how I was going to help him that when he finally threw the right line at me I almost didn't come in!

DA: I asked Julie Harris how she deals with stage fright and she said she just thinks of how wonderful it is to share the playwright's words with an audience.

CJ: Right. You're telling a story.

DA: How do you elicit emotions that you need in a scene when they just don't come?

CJ: As I've gotten older it's much easier. I found what worked with The Heiress - where I had several tearful moments - was the the thought of the loss of (her then lover) Mary.

DA: That worked 371 times?

CJ: I could have used her every night. Some nights when I needed a break from killing Mary off, I'd use my family. I just need a springboard to get me to a heightened emotional state.

DA: What else makes you cry? I'm not trying to play Barbara Walters --

CJ: I can't cry over the past because I haven't had a difficult past. What I could cry over is the future. It's unknown. Old age and the future, to me, is something to conquer. The loss of loved ones. I can't imagine living without them. I'm a puppy! I want to be able to run and ride my bike and just play heroines forever. And I know at eighty I probably won't be able to do all that.

DA: Finally, Miss Jones, what is unique about you. What do you think you bring to the Party?

CJ: I do know that I have a presence. And I know that I have a kind of dignity that people respond to. I'm not a quick, brilliant person - so I guess it's a softer, slower, slightly quirky "take" that I bring to my work. And I do know that when I play my women, they exist. I'm not saying that in a mystical way, but for those two hours every night, they're absolutely real to me. And it's such a privilege and such a joy to be able to bring these great, beautiful words and thoughts to life every night. For me, it's just heaven on earth.

Procrastination

2005-07-15T09:23:00.000-04:00

Been reading a great book: "The War of Art: Break through your Inner Creative Battles", by Steven Pressfield. It's all about breaking through procrastination, not putting the important things off. All about the Resistance to completing the big things we really want to do.

Hmmm - Maybe I should get offline and do something today. I just blogged myself into a stupor this week and then realized I could have accomplished a lot more. I've got 2 monologues to learn and a revision of my play...

(excerpt from the book)

RESISTANCE IS INSIDIOUS
Resistance will tell you anything to keep you from doing your work. It will perjure, fabricate, falsify; seduce, bully, cajole. Resistance is protean. It will assume any form, if that's what it takes to deceive you. It will reason with you like a lawyer or jam a nine-millimeter in your face like a stickup man. Resistance has no conscience. It will pledge anything to get a deal, then double-cross you as soon as your back is turned. If you take Resistance at its word, you deserve everything you get. Resistance is always lying and always full of shit.

Friend or ....

2005-07-14T13:07:00.000-04:00

Seems like I've become the
"friend most in need of a hook-up" to my pals.
One of The Most Needy Cases.

Not that they've been much help.

Hello?
Dinner parties? Arranging blind dates?

Either they have a serious
lack of candidates for me,
or else I've turned into
the Elephant Man
and nobody told me..

But there is somebody I've become interested in. Problem is: we're Friends. And that's been cool for a few months. But the more time we log in, the more that line between "friends-or-something more" starts to blur. And my friends are all pushing me at him. I think they're hoping to be released from the Matchmaker category.

But I don't want to blow this friendship.
Er --- you know what I mean. Timing is everything.

New York to Philly

2005-07-14T12:45:00.000-04:00

Why did I move, again?

My friend Todd has lived in Philly for years - and, after kicking around looking for theatre work in NYC for years, he said, "Hey - why not move here? You'll probably get more work."

So I left my wildly overpriced NY apartment and schlepped down to the City of Brotherly Love. And speaking of Bro/Lo: why is it that before, when I visited Philly, I got nothing but flirtatious glances. As soon as I moved here I was had to beat the bushes (no comment) to find a nice guy.

I did get work right off the bat - a part in Sondheim's "Passion" at one of the major theatres. Wow, I thought, Todd was right! I shoulda moved years ago, instead of temping myself into a stupor.

And then, just like the "flirtatious boys" had lulled me into a false sense of security -- I didn't work on a mainstage production for 4 years. I've done some great jobs here and there - and founded my own theatre company, but I wanted to keep working in the big theatres.

I found out that there is this Small Impenetrable Inner Circle of actors who are cast in EVERYTHING.

Great.

After 5 years here I miss NYC in a big way. Just to roll out of bed and see a show, hit Central Park. Now when I see a show, it's usually filled with less-than-dazzling performances. And every time I go back to Manhattan, I just want to stay.

PS: Todd is moving to L.A.

Cherry Jones - Part Two

2005-07-12T17:32:00.000-04:00

DA: You played Hannah in The Night of the Iguana at the Goodman Theatre, before it came to Broadway. I understand it's your favorite role.

CJ: Yes, it is. She's the most extraordinary individual I've ever gotten to work on. She's figured out a way to -- a way to live. And to enjoy each moment and not take one thing for granted. And although she's asexual there's such a sensuality about her enjoyment of life.

She's not some cold, New England spinster -- a term I hate, by the way. To reduce Hannah Jelkes to a phrase like that is so obscene because she's just so amazing. Tennessee just gives you so much in all of those amazing, winding sentences. You watch her thinking through all these "floral bouquets" of sentences and then - it all becomes beautifully precise.

I think The Night of the Iguana is his masterpiece. Unlike his other plays, which are also great but somehow suffocating -- this one just opens up to the sky. Hannah has a line: "broken gates between people" and -- for me -- well, we're all ultimately alone in this life. And at times that loneliness is more devastating than others. We just can't bear it anymore. There's something about this play that offers a way of approaching life. It's about so many things -- feeling hopeless -- and about grace -- and endurance. She's learned how to endure. She's one of those people that, for whatever reason, is never going to be with a mate.

There was this wonderful woman in my home town named Miss Miriam Cook, whom I think of as being a Hannah Jelkes. A highly intelligent, beautiful, ageless woman. And she's always been alone, but there's such a beauty and dignity to the way she's lived her life. I remember my mother saying to her once, even before she was even fully aware that I was gay, that she was concerned about me going into acting. She was afraid I would be alone, that I'd always be traveling and I'd have a difficult time finding a relationship.

And Miss Miriam looked at her and said, "Joanie, that's all right. Some of us are just meant to be alone, and that's all right. We have wonderful, full lives." She was trying to comfort my mother into understanding that just because I wasn't going to have the life my mother had, it didn't mean I'd have less of a life."

Portraits on Page : Uta Hagen

2005-07-09T12:40:00.000-04:00

Interviews for a book on the actress Geraldine Page, with remembrances from Paul Newman, Julie Harris, Mikhail Baryshnikov, Kim Stanley, Uta Hagen and others.

* * * *

Somehow she appeared on my radar and snuck into my actor's brain, and I used her as a touchstone for great, brave, committed performances.

She died way too soon in 1987, but luckily I'd met her several times and that left an even more indelible mark on me. And on thousands of others, no doubt. But I was determined she would not be forgotten -- would be honored, in fact -- in a way that would not only be a lasting tribute but a source of information about her and what contributed to her art.

In the early Nineties I began a book. My idea was to have a photo from a movie or play she'd done on the left-hand side, and then a short interview with someone from that production on the right.

Never panned out. Seems every publisher I spoke with wanted a traditional tell-all bio which delved into all the details of her unconventional family life and relationships - and that was not gonna happen. My idea was to have celebrity interviews about their time with her which would illuminate her professional life. As it turned out I learned a lot about her off-stage life as well, but the book would only include the comments which seemed to be germane to her art.

So here - in some small way - I will put down parts of the book which never came to be, and maybe continual the oral history which was passed down to me by her peers.

Uta Hagen

UH: I was very proud of what I think I contributed to her work.

DA: And what was that?

UH: Ridding her of preconceptions and conventional "acting." She was very talented. Tons of emotion - that she had. And humor - that she had. But she learned to discover a role instead of settling for what she saw off the top of her head. I think she was unbelievably original in her selections. The selections are what makes a great artist, which she certainly was.

DA: She told me you waged a war against cliche.

UH: Absolutely. So many actors bring the stage to the stage, instead of bring life to the stage. And that's still the way it is today, to a large extent. So much mediocrity. I think the last time I saw her was in Absurd Person Singular, in which she was phenomenal.

DA: What other performances did you see? Sweet Bird of Youth?

UH: Oh, I hated that play, I think it's a soap opera. The whole play is on the moon! Oh, I hated it. Now when she played Lily in Midsummer - she was fantastic, and it was the crappiest play you ever saw.

DA: And The Rainmaker?

UH: Rainmaker, she was sensational. I hated that play, too. Herbert and I walked out of it and he said, "Pastrami hangs heavy over Oklahoma." But she was wonderful. I tell you, she was like Laurette Taylor. They could turn shit into gold.

Cherry Jones interview

2005-07-09T12:33:00.000-04:00

When I was living in New York City's West Village, I got the chance to do an interview with Cherry which turned out to be the cover story of a magazine called Upstages.

Here are some highlights...

Back before she won her second TONY award for Doubt, she'd become the toast of Broadway for her first TONY award-winng performance in a play called The Heiress.

"I'm outside a downtown cafe waiting for Cherry Jones. Scanning the horizon I'm not quite sure who to look for. After years in regional theatre and short-lived New York productions she has finally achieved Broadway Star status with her role in last season's The Heiress.

Since chances are good that she won't come gliding down Seventh Avenue in a hoopskirt and bonnet, I'm not sure I'll even recognize her. When Cherry does arrive I'm a little shocked to find her so tall, striking and, well, contemporary.

She's immediately engaging and focused, with a smoky trace of a drawl from her childhood in Paris, Tennessee. Shiny sky blue eyes, set in translucent, lightly freckled sin, crinkle up when she laughs. Underneath her lanky, athletic grace I glimpse a mischievous child.

We talk about the long run of The Heiress.

DA: It was a year, wasn't it?

CJ: Just under a year - something like 371 performances with just one day off a week. And I didn't take vacation and I didn't miss a show, so it was really 371 performances.

DA: I loved the first image we had of Catherine, coming down the stairs, so erect.

CJ: I wanted Catherine to have one thing that she did really well. I imagined that when she was a little girl she saw some beautiful woman, who she wished had been her mother, floating down a staircase. And from that moment on she practiced over and over to get it.

...on going in as a replacement in Angels in America:

CJ: I'm a pretty athletic person and I don't have a fear of heights. That said, I didn't have enough rehearsal time to get completely comfortable up there. In one of my first performances as the "angry angel" in the black costume, I had to do a flip. Well, I got halfway through it, to where my head was pointing straight down and my feet straight up, and got stuck. My girlfriend said I looked like this huge bat from hell, hanging there upside down. I finally had to just grab the wires and pull myself up. Just a little humiliating.

The real nightmare was just trying to fit into a piece and never feeling really comfortable and strong and true. "Nightmare" is too strong a word. I got that from Maureen Stapleton. When I first moved to New York I went to see her in The Gin Game. The next day she came into a restaurant where I was working and I said, "Oh Miss Stapleton, I saw you last night in The Gin Game and I just thought you were fantastic."

And her eyes just rolled around in her head and she went, "Ahhhhh! It was a nightmare!" and she flew out of the place. So ever since, when I find myself in difficult positions, I just think of Maureen and it's like, "Well, ma'am, now I know what you mean."

MORE CHERRY TO FOLLOW

Me and Sondheim

2005-07-09T12:32:00.000-04:00

Well, it all started with a letter. I wrote to him WAY back when, in the late Eighties, and I asked if he needed anyone to be his assistant. Why I thought he'd answer, I have no idea. But 3 days later I got a note back, saying he didn't use assistants on shows, but would I like to come in and meet him?

Duh.

So I schlepped in from New Jersey to his place on the East Side and there began a friendship with him that would influence me all my life. You do have to be cautious "meeting your gods," but I'd rather have gone down that road than not.

More to come

Voice Work

2005-07-08T12:11:00.000-04:00

Being a voice coach by phone is something a lot of people can't fathom. Improving your voice without being in the same room? But it's a niche I carved out for myself and it's allowed me to help people all over the world. http://www.yourvoicecoach.com And once they get over that first mental hurdle, they are always amazed at the results accomplished "across the miles."

Dealing strictly with the sound of one's voice is a viable means of coaching by telephone. With the clear quality of phones (well, at least landlines!) I can assess my clients' vocal quality better than if I were in the room with them. Right now I'm working with clients all over the world, and that's not only stimulating, but it makes me feel like I'm affecting change on a global level.

Business continues to grow. My website is usually at the top of a Google search for "voice coach," and that's been a great means of connecting with people. Being an entrepreneur and working solo without a staff, I can work with people one-on-one, rather than farm them out to employees, like a lot of larger coaching sites do. No books, no tapes -- just calls geared to the particular needs each person brings to the call.

After years of working as an actor, with all the self-centered energy that brings, it's rewarding to bring my acting/voice training to the business world.

One-man Band

2005-07-07T10:39:00.000-04:00

Tonight I begin an acting workshop at the Wilma Theater focused on putting on one-person shows.

This should prove interesting; I've taught a lot but haven't taken a class in long time. It's taught by an actor named Tony Lawton

I know very little about him but I'm sure I will find out more tonight. He's got a good reputation here in town, so what the heck. I'm open to direction and it can only help my show "Isn't it Sarcastic."

Putting on the show was incredibly hard; I've never worked so intensely as to sustain a performance myself that runs 75 minutes. You're never offstage. Ai yi yi. To say I learned a lot is a major understatement.

What didn't help was that I had a director who was very young and inexperienced and most of her "direction" turned out to be the parts of the show which didn't work. She was a good dramaturg but that was about all. And what was inexcusable was that, two nights before I opened, she started the tech rehearsal by telling me she didn't have a positive experience working on the show.

Could you have waited another two days, hon? Why not give me something ELSE to worry about right before I opened. Totally destructive and unprofessional.

The houses were small but very pleased with what they saw. Two nightmares, though: one night the sound went out. One other night there was a critic in the house and it was the worst show of the run. Of course. I might have been thrown by knowing he was there, or by the fact that after tiny little audiences I suddenly had a huge one and all the stakes went up. Way up.

Underneath it though, was another mis-direction from La Director. A big one. It had been directed to be played as if it were only to a handful of friends in my apartment (the actor is setting up for a party.) But then when 70 people showed up, that premise went out the window. And I didn't figure that out till the minute I stepped onstage and it threw me. I had to talk TO the audience (it was that kind of piece) but instead I vacillated back and forth and it blew my concentration.

Alas. And of course the critic had to write it up, even though it was closing weekend. Why couldn't he have just tossed that "mixed" review in his garbage can? Although he did say he saw a lot of promise in it and hoped it would reappear after some changes were made. And he did manage to say some nice things too, but who remembers THOSE when you're the actor/playwright?

Wicked Stage, part deux

2005-07-06T12:22:00.000-04:00

I am at a crossroads, trying to decide if I should re-mount my play "Isn't it Sarcastic" and try to shop it around, or put it aside and just return to my idea of becoming a "personality." Before this project turned into an actual Play, I was just going to create a cabaret forum where I come out and sing a little (parodies) and dish a little like Kathy Griffin.

That choice seems easier. But I've worked really hard in writing/producing three plays in the last 15 months, and none of them have gone on to longer runs or have any plans to remount them. It's a lot of work to just write 'em and then move on.

So I'll do the show once more in our Fringe Festival and then see what happens.

Happy Fourth!

2005-07-05T14:32:00.000-04:00

julyflags
Originally uploaded by sarcasticguy.

"and the people, the people, the people"

2005-07-02T18:17:00.000-04:00

Spent four hours last night watching "Sibyl" on TV Land.

Who would ever have thought that this girl
could turn herself into that girl. And I don't mean Marlo Thomas.

With only Gidget and the Flying Nun under her belt, she turned in this kick-ass performance -- startling at the time, as I remember, and it still holds up.

The frustrating thing was that TV Land interrupted after every ten minutes of the movie to show 8 minutes of commercials. And this is a film that shouldn't be cut into.

I like her - I really like her.

Yo, Adrian!

2005-06-29T14:52:00.000-04:00

...but perhaps the show that none of my friend could fathom me having an interest in was created by Sylvester Stallone.

Yes, I know. But indeed, I turned out to be a big fan of his wrestling reality show,
THE CONTENDER.

Go figure. Now, I will never pay money to see one of his movies again -- but somehow this show got me turned on to boxing. And on a night when there is no "Nanny 911" or "Hell's Kitchen", I actually channel surf to find boxing matches. What's to become of me. Maybe I could meld these shows together and have Nanny Deb do ten rounds with Chef Ramsay.

I dunno. But if you watch boxing for a while -- like anything -- you do start to see what the different strategies are, how the boxers are laying back or trying for an early knockout, or who seems like the better fighter. What I like doing is rooting for the underdog and seeing if he can cause an upset. But it's very exciting two watch two guys go at it. Hmmm.

I think what got me hooked on "The Contender" was that you had all these working-class lugs, pretty much uneducated, who all just wanted to be the best at what they did - so they laid it all out there 100%. But more than that, whoever lost the fight each episode was seen being consoled by his family, and there wasn't a tough guy in the bunch who didn't ended up crying and hugging his kids. Those unexpected, seemingly incongruous images are what brought the human element to the sport for me.

That and half-naked guys in satin shorts.

Mary Poppins for the Millenium

2005-06-29T10:00:00.000-04:00

When I was a kid we had no nannies. We didn't live in England for one thing; New Jersey nannies would have seemed like an oxymoron. And there were no families pretentious enough to have one - not like today, when frantically overtaxed Mommies are so pressed for time that they'd "just die without her." We had babysitters. And they usually just made out with their boyfriends and let us run wild.

We did have a maid, or so I'm reminded by my brother. She must not have lasted long enough to make an impression - which meant that she and mother musn't have cottoned to one another. But we didn't really need a maid anyway - not when we had our own version of Joan Crawford, lurking just below Mom's surface. ("I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the dirt!") Mom had different channels she could switch on as needed; Betty Crocker came out for dinner (thank God!) and La Crawford emerged on Saturdays to give the house the once-over.

So who needed a maid? Let alone a nanny! Disney's Mary Poppins was the closest we ever got to seeing one, and Julie Andrews didn't look like she could do an honest day's work.

Not like the gals on another show I watch (instead of going out and having a social life, as we've seen in previous posts) : Nanny 911.

Now, if you didn't think it was pathetic enough watching Fear Factor or Hell's Kitchen, this oughta push your opinion of me over the edge. But the perverse thrill I get watching Chef Ramsay curse out his chefs, I also get watching a family of five screaming brats get worked over by a no-nonsense nanny.

My favorite of these tough broads is "Nanny Deb" (pictured here, the sweet darling).

Nanny Deb wears this outfit as she walks briskly down the street into the homes of each family she counsels. If the outfit alone didn't traumatize the children, she turns their whole world upside down by having their parents "do a 180" and enforce some discipline. But not before each child has a Major Meltdown, which is great entertainment, especially since you can Mute the TV and just watch the brats as they (literally) climb the walls.

What's endearing about Nanny Deb is that she blows in like a juggernaut with her firm and brusque demeanor, but she always ends up breaking down into a lake of tears by the time she has to leave the children at week's end. Mean Nanny/Sobbing Nanny - which is more upsetting for the little dears to process all in one week's time?

The other nanny show on TV is called Supernanny. The caregiver this time is the lovely Jo Frost, whose name sounds like some kind of stripper for the Ice Capades. And if you want to see what you'll look like in 15 years, take a good look at Nanny Deb, Jo.

What I love about Supernanny is that she has abolished the whole "time out"concept (which was so "90's" anyway) in favor of what she calls "The Naughty Spot."

This is a spare room or even a corner of the kitchen or a step on the staircase - anywhere that errant child will be placed until he "learns his lesson."

SO: If your little Dickie misbehaves, you come down to his level and say, "This behavior is unacceptable, and now we're going to put Dickie on his Naughty Spot."

Ahem.

Going to "Hell"

2005-06-28T10:17:00.000-04:00

Alright, something is wrong when I get pleasure staying at home at night. (Well, I'm not gonna touch that. As it were.) But lately I get a cheap thrill when Monday nights roll around and I take a journey to Hell's Kitchen.

Chef Gordon Ramsay is one of the top chefs in the world and JESUS, he's a mean, rude, foul-mouthed bastard. Yum. Since I started turning in I've watched, open-mouthed, as he verbally and physically abused the chef wanna-be's on this reality show, who are competing to win their own restaurant.

He has been known to proclaim that their culinary creations look "like a dog's dinner" and then smash the plate of food into their chests and tell them to start over again. Any excuses from them and he says, "SHUT IT."

Last night after he rebuked a young, "big-boned" boy contestant, he added as an afterthought "and lose some weight." He also said this to a portly customer who came to the kitchen to complain about slow food service. And he hurls X-rated curses at his staff so often that his mouth is rarely seen since it is blurred over by TV censors.

It's completely un-PC and totally compelling -- God, I've got to get out more. I've become the poster boy for these reality TV shows. Not the ones where the bachelors hand out roses or those goddam MTV (un)Real Worlds. But the strange ones, like Hell's Kitchen or - yes, Fear Factor

I mean, where else can you watch people jump into a tank of electric eels or hold their breath while they get a bucket of tarantulas poured on them? It's like the Olympics for the Strange & The Greedy. All this to win $50,000. But the worst part is when they have to eat things like pig uterus and horse rectum.

How much horse rectum does a person have to eat to win $50,000? And is it worth it? I figure, after you take out money for taxes, high colonics for having eaten it, and therapy for having allowed yourself to do it -- how much can be left?

New York, New York

2005-06-27T13:03:00.000-04:00

A helluva town ---

After living there for 13 years and then being in Philly for five, whenever I return to the Big Steaming Apple I just don't want to leave. This Sunday my friend Kirby took me up to see the Gay Pride Day parade.

Cute little plane, eh? I think there should be more inflatable balloons on Gay Pride, like a giant ruby slipper or something - or maybe a huge, floating Harvey Fierstein.

Or would that be redundant?

We spent about five hours standing behind police barracades, made tolerable only by the cute policemen holding us back. They seemed completely accustomed to the naked revelers and bacchanalian festivities -- but if you're a New York cop this probably seemed like a walk in the park.

We ended up down at Sheridan Square, which seemed like a bad acid trip where you're immobilized in a crowd of smelly, psychedelic freaks all dragging you down into some lower level of Hell.

I did say I missed New York, didn't I?

Well, maybe not this New York.

I was born too late I guess. My idea of fun is a cocktail at The Algonquin or Cafe Carlyle, or walking through Shubert Alley on the way to a great Broadway show.

A helluva town...

Some People

2005-06-25T23:51:00.000-04:00

Why is it that certain actor's performances seem bland or misguided, but as soon as they do something really self-destructive they suddenly become much more interesting? Hmmmm. Is it just me?

And I don't like to mention any names. Or be tacky and post their pictures up.

Drug busts. Naked bongo playing. Car crashes. "Rehab," the new fragrance by Calvin Klein.

A little backstory on me...

2005-06-24T19:25:00.000-04:00

Where to begin --- I grew up in a normal town - a little suburb of New York City called Upper Montclair, New Jersey. Upper Montclair, as they remind you. Very "normal", and if I had stayed there - well, if I had stayed there I would have jumped in front of traffic, but if not I would have had a "normal" life. I could have had a career as a well-respected lawyer. I could have owned a house worth millions of dollars.

One of my brothers is a lawyer. The other one just sold his house for a million dollars. They say that we all make the choices we are meant to make, and that our lives are all the richer for it. Fuck that! I WANT MILLIONS OF DOLLARS! I WANT A CAREER AS A HOTSHOT LAWYER! Well, not a lawyer. Actor. Same thing.

Am I bitter? No. Just sarcastic. If you’re bitter you just get depressed, dig a hole and jump into it. If you can keep your wit & irony when Life drops a big load of crap on you, you can turn it into comedy and at least amuse your friends at parties. Then you can turn Life's crap into "manure" and give it some purpose! It’s bullshit recycling!

So here I stand (or sit) before you, a dyed-in-the-wool "Sarcast". Sarcastic and proud, in the noble tradition passed down since Time Immemorial. The cutup, the smart-aleck, the wise-cracking sidekick written into the movies when the plot gets boring.

But are we born or made? Is there some gin-soaked well from which we all Spring? No No No. There is no Sarcasticville, USA. We come from the same towns as our normal brothers and sisters, asking only for tolerance…and the right to occasionally use them as the butt of our jokes.

As a boy, two things made me different from the other boys in Upper Montclair. Number one: I wanted a career on Broadway. Number Two: I wanted the other boys in Upper Montclair. But how would I become a New York actor? The city was just a 30-minute bus ride, but a world away. How could I get there? I needed help.

Then I remembered Montclair had a theatre, run by Olympia Dukakis, who won an Oscar for MOONSTRUCK. She would be my mentor, and introduce me to all the famous people I needed to know. I got a job as her assistant.

A word about Olympia: GREEK. She is Greek. Very Greek. We’re Talking Zorba the Greek-Greek. Look at the name for one thing. You start off in life with "Olympia" and you've got that hot-wired into you. If she was born Ethel Dukakis, who knows. And her brother’s name is Apollo, okay? Apollo. Hello. I’m sure their parents were named Zeus and Aphrodite and at holidays they all sat around in breastplates with spears. It’s great to have a sense of racial pride but come on. I mean, I’m Scandinavian but we weren’t named Thor and Odin and sit around at Christmas with Viking helmets on.

Anyway -- first day of work, totally star-struck. That lasted a week. There’s nothing that knocks an actress off her pedestal faster than having to buy her panty hose. She had to see my talent! I decided to take her acting class. I still remember the first monologue I did, and how much I put into it.

As it progresses, I realize she isn’t really listening – she’s thinking, Control Top or Ultra Sheer?

Maybe I should have chosen something Greek to perform, like Oepidus Rex. When it became clear that she was not going to mentor me or even introduce me to Cher, I switched to Plan B.

But that's another story...

Life upon the wicked stage

2005-06-23T16:42:00.000-04:00

I just finished the first run of my new play, "Isn't it Sarcastic," at Society Hill Playhouse in Philadelphia. A one-man show. Jesus. If I'd known what an undertaking that was - I might have thought twice. Three times, even. But still I would have forged on because I wanted to write it and do more than just another "cabaret" show.

This picture oughta show you what a crazy night it was. Definitely not a serious drama. But much more so than I thought it was going to be. You start out writing a semi-autobiographical piece about a guy who's too funny for his own good, and damned if you don't get a lot more pathos than you meant to.

Here's a link to my theatre company:
http://www.philly-cabaret-theatre.com

I created it in January 2004 as a place to write and develop pieces that were a little off the beaten path, to break that Fourth Wall and let the audience join in. Since I moved to Philly from NYC 5 years ago, I thought that was a unique idea for a company - one that could add something to the arts community here.

Well.

Seems it's hard to get anything new off the ground, but at times this has felt like pushing an elephant through a port hole. And I've tried that. Getting audiences to come is just as tough here as it was in NYC, although it's a smaller scene and people said that fewer companies to compete with would equal more exposure. Could I be any more exposed? Not for lack of trying - but I'd have to be naked and walking down Broad Street to have the kind of exposure it'd take to get people into the joint.

Well, what did I think? There's no biz like showbiz and boy ain't that the truth. Since I moved here I have not had to toil in the Land of Temps, and that's been a good thing. I've created and been part of my own projects and been cast in two mainstage musicals at two of the biggest theatres in town -- so quit whining, eh?

http://www.yourvoicecoach.com

This is how I make my bread and butter. Much better than working FOR anybody else. Although not so hot when the clients don't come. But I'm workin' on the "glass half full" idea.

Fill 'er up!